Today is my step-sons 14th Birthday!
We have sole- custody. She has an "alleged" drug problem. I say alleged so that I don't get into any trouble for slander or liable. I could pull court records and arrest records to prove such "allegedness", but I won't. At any rate, the last time she called to talk to her son was Christmas - OF LAST YEAR! She saw him on his birthday last year too. Bought him an iPod shuffle with like ALL her money and told him that was all she had too. Nice, make your kid feel like shit on his birthday cause you bought him a gift.
Hasn't called all year. We weren't sure if she was still in the area for a while. Until I saw her on the County Sherrif arrest site anyways. So we knew she was at least alive and where she was for a month or so. But still no letters, no phone calls, no nothing. Poor kid. But you know, I think...no I know he's better off without her.
Her father, his grandfather, sees him on a semi-regular basis. But he has no idea where his mother is either. Well I mean he has a general idea and tries to "smooth over" (read bullshit us) what's going on with her. (I think he fails to realize that all that arrest stuff in a matter of public record and I can just go look it up at the courthouse.)
I mean she listed herself as an "unemployed escort" on her arrest record for christ's sake!
Ken's had Matty since he was 7 (maybe 8). She dropped him off one day (this is what I heard) and said that she had things to take care of. That was the BEST thing she ever did for her son. The only inkling of mothering she ever showed in my opinion. The only selfless thing she's probably ever done.
You would think that after this womans younger sister died (i think it was an overdose - the family says otherwise) while she was in Prison she would learn, but nope!
You would think that after my own issues with drug use, I might be a little more understanding - NOPE!
As soon as I learned I was pregnant - stopped! That is someone elses life. I can fuck mine up all i want - not some innocent little one's life! There's no excuse for what she does. Especially to Matt.
Shortly after their divorce was finalized, we needed to go back to court to ammend the visitation agreement. She received Supervised visitation, due to her "drug issues". (But it's just alleged remember). We got word thru her father that if she couldn't see her son where and when she wanted - then she didn't want to see him at all. Nice message to pass along to your child, huh?
At any rate, our lives are just fine without her. I'm truly sorry for Matt, that he can't enjoy a "normal" relationship with his mother. But I honestly think he's better off withouth her.
I love Matt. I hope he doesn't dwell too much that she didn't call. I hope he had a great day today.
Happy Birthday Son! I love you!
Wishes
3 years ago
Awww! Happy birthday Matt! You should have called.... I would have made a cake!
ReplyDeleteWow we have a lot in common. Besides not being lovey-dovey moms I too have a stepson with a questionable "mother." He is 8. She left when he was a year old. In and out of his life at her choosing. Had another baby but had to keep that one because the baby-daddy was already married. Moved across the country and back several times going up to a year without seeing her son. Now she's back and wanted some more visitation. Despite her past the judge gave her everything she wanted. Now she gets him every weekend. For Easter dinner they went to McDonalds and Christmas dinner was hot dogs. She had him on his birthday but didnt have any money so got him nothing. Ahhh,I could go on and on. Sometimes I think it would be better for him if she went away again. I'm sure it will happen.
ReplyDeleteI hope Matt had a very happy Birthday!
BLONDEFABULOUS: cake?? we still have yule log left?!??!!!
ReplyDeleteKARALYN: I think the real reason we go what we wanted from the judge is because 1.) i used to go to school for criminal justice and i can dig up a LOT of stuff and I did. 2.) for the divorce proceedings she attended via phone as she was awaiting sentencing for prison and 3.) she didn't show up for visitation hearing even though she knew when it was. The judge told us that by doing so she basically admitted to everything we had put down in the complaint. Your little one will see things the same way you do - eventually. Took Matt till about, oh, March of this year when we moved into the house we're in now. So that was..5 years. He tried to call his mom and let her know we moved, he found out that she had moved and the people she had been living with didn't know where to find her and he like flipped out - said he hated her, never wanted to see her again - the usual anger stuff. But now he just accepts her for who she is. A liar, a cheat, and a woman he doesn't even know anymore.